That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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