No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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