i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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