mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize