Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
