I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
