Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
