You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
false alarm, still single
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
