I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize