I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
