Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
