He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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