She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
