Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
