Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
