is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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