can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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