I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize