I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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