My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
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I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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