her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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