me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
