I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
