you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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