I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
