Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
