People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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