kristin has been a bad kristin
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
