the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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