Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
