What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize