you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
