It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
