if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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