We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
