we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
