I think my vagina is haunted
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
