She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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