Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Randomize
