i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
