I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
