so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
