We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Im part way to drunk.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize