she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
