You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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