He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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