Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
