Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
