My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Randomize
