it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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