How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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