all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
