Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
