people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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