Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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