i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
