oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
jump out the window naked night went bad
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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