i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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