Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she told me i tasted like america
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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