i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.