508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
