how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
