I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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