She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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