she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
