So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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