i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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